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[JOKE] Another motorist joke

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[JOKE] Another motorist joke

This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was
a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to
her
rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was
halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.
As a man, I don't scare easily but she scared me so much; I dropped my
electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In the
confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against
the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which
fell
into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the
Twins, ruined the Darn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an
important call.
Darn women drivers!
8 REPLIES
Community Veteran
Posts: 4,729
Registered: 04-04-2007

[JOKE] Another motorist joke

But as long as you where not speeding the chief cunstable of North Wales would not be interested.

Chilly
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[JOKE] Another motorist joke

Chilly wrote
Quote
chief cunstable

A freudian slip? A good job you did not leave the "S" out, you may have been banned, though many would have agreed with you. :lol:
Community Veteran
Posts: 4,729
Registered: 04-04-2007

[JOKE] Another motorist joke

Opp's Shockedops:

Now who suggested a spell checker on the forums.

Chilly
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[JOKE] Another motorist joke

me n ole brunsie got an agreement, he leaves me alone...I speed!!

quite a sympatico relationship really.. lol, seriously tho, I agree with clamping down on speeds in villages etc, 30mph, no more, too many peeps around, but the dual carriageway speed limits are ridiculous...

mind you, was going along the '55 today, inside lane, 6 cars ALL nose to bumber, and in the middle...... a semi unmarked cop car, all breaking the two second rule...

So I whoosh past at 70mph, and this copper pulls out and tails me for just over a mile, no doubt to check me speed, GIT :twisted:
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[JOKE] Another motorist joke

Should've pulled in front of him and jumped on the anchors!
Tehy don't like it up 'em
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[JOKE] Another motorist joke

they dont do they, they dont like it up em mr mainwairing!



but what got me was the fact if you or i was tailgating, we woulda been nicked for it!
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[JOKE] Another motorist joke

Yeah, but I once got off a speeding (borderline - motorway) ticket by getting into the hard shoulder then jamming on the anchors, the chappie with the flat head reckoned my car's brakes etc would not be safe at 75 (but fine at 70... what??) trouble is since I'd had to ease off so as he didn't hit the back of me I reckoned he did'nt have much of a case.
A couple of times when I see the plods speeding without the old blues on, I'm tempted to make an official complaint - the ambulance guy go done didn't he, so why not the plods too...?
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[JOKE] Another motorist joke

I DID!!

One of the local Cub vans were acting as a rolling road block (42 in a 60), I couldnt overtake, because there were two nervous cars in front, and not enough room to overtake all 3, hit the next 30 zone, I slowed down, but the cub pulled away, So I complained about it, got a satisfactory answer. AFTER I was told they were attending an RTC, (which I informed this guy they werent)!