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Ground / Open / Swallow

Metalguru
Grafter
Posts: 791
Registered: 04-08-2007

Ground / Open / Swallow

The day was all panning out just as I had planned it.

I was up shaved, showered, dressed and out of the house just before 5am.
And I kept the lights off and did it so quietly, I didn't wake up any of the family.

Checked on my socks and the laptop presentation before I started the car.
Made sure I had the printed copies of the slides, just in case I couldn't do the power point presentation (Business Continuity) .
Then set of up North. Well Midlands actually. North of Watford anyway.

Got to the venue in plenty of time to set up the laptop and projector.
Had a cuppa with the host, and watched the delegates fill the auditorium.

I was introduced by the chair and started the presentation at 10am sharp.
A little icebreaker then into the meat of the subject.

The great and the good were all present listening intently to my thoughts on Business Impact Assessments, Threats and Vulnerabilities, Motivation, Capability, Opportunity. It was all going so well. Until..................

I could feel the sneeze building up inside me.

I reached into my pocket for my handkerchief.
Pulled it out and covered my nose and mouth with it.

Ahhhhh tish shooooooo.

I caught the sneeze in the hanky but ................

The delegates faces told me something had gone horribly wrong.

Were my flies undone ?

Nope.

Had someone messed about with my power point presentation ?

Nope.

In my hand I could see a pair of my eldest daughters (frilly edged) white knickers !!!!

Ground / Open / Swallow ................... PLEASE !!!!
3 REPLIES
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Ground / Open / Swallow

Please don't take this personally
Business Impact Assessments, Indeed
Jesus, these 3 word sound bites.
They're such a load of shyte, the company I work for has been churning them out for years. They mean nothing, here are some recent ones the management they have come up with to justify their existence.
Deliverable critical decisions.
Customer enforced realism.
Forward venturing policy.
Designed structured growth.
Each one comes with its reams of paperwork, bulked out with really large fonts and diagrams with arrows and flowcharts that lead nowhere.
Everybody dutifully attends the presentation of the latest ideas, then bins the handouts and carries on as normal until the next "Dynamic central policy"
Laugh, not half
Metalguru
Grafter
Posts: 791
Registered: 04-08-2007

Ground / Open / Swallow

On a similar theme (well not really, but as I started this thread off, I believe I am allowed to take it where ever I like), and picking up on the last point re Management.

I have carried out some analysis concerning the sporting preferences of the employees of the organization I work for.

The organization has a very hierarchical management structure.

Those that the bottom of the structure with virtually no management responsibility (the workers) tend to favor rugby and football.

Junior / Middle managers like tennis and cricket.

Senior Managers like squash and golf.

Those at the very top of the organization, prefer jogging and swimming.

Which just goes to show that the higher up the management structure you go, the smaller your balls become. Until eventually, you have no balls at all.
N/A

Re: Ground / Open / Swallow

Quote


I reached into my pocket for my handkerchief.
Pulled it out and covered my nose and mouth with it.

Ahhhhh tish shooooooo.

In my hand I could see a pair of my eldest daughters (frilly edged) white knickers !!!!


So your daughter was playing a wicked joke eh? ... If so maybe you could return the compliment next time she brings her boyfriend round!! Wink