A chef at an old people's home was struggling to come up with meals that all the residents would enjoy. Recently he'd been trying out various exotic meats, like ostrich and kangaroo meat. However, the residents didn't seem to be interested at all. In desperation, he went off to the zoo to try and find something different. The primate enclosure caught his eye, and he asked the zoo-keeper to catch one or two of them, so he could serve them up that evening. In the end, the only one the zoo-keeper could catch was a particularly sedate monkey which had no interest in running away. Back at the old people's home, the chef was preparing the meal, when the manager came into the kitchen and asked what the meal was going to be. The chef replied: "Oh, I thought I'd try a mellow gibbon for the old folk's tea."
A mouse went into a music shop and asked the shopkeeper, "Do you have a mouse organ?" The shopkeeper said, "No, I think you mean a mouth organ. Actually, it's funny you should ask that, because a mouse came in here this morning and asked just the same thing." The mouse replied, "Oh, that'll be our Monica."
A man applied for a job in a Chinese restaurant in Croydon, and was invited for an interview. He turned up for the interview, wearing a fur hat. At the end of the interview, the manager said, "Well, I'm pleased to say I can offer you a place at the restaurant. One thing puzzles me, though - why did you come in that hat?" The man replied: "Ah yes, I tell my father that I go for job interview in Croydon, and he say 'Croydon? Wear the fox hat!'"