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Diary of a BMW driver

vic_newey
Grafter
Posts: 802
Thanks: 2
Registered: 30-07-2007

Diary of a BMW driver

Diary of a BMW driver
" The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely
big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.) Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only?)
Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!
Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.
Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!
Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW!"

Tongue
17 REPLIES
Community Veteran
Posts: 6,983
Thanks: 8
Registered: 10-04-2007

Diary of a BMW driver

That seems to have a ring of trouth about it Cheesy
holdtight
Grafter
Posts: 1,634
Registered: 15-06-2007

Diary of a BMW driver

Indeed ! that could almost be true

very good Cheesy
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Diary of a BMW driver

Hmm,

I cannot make my mind up if this also applies to a Merc driver or if his diary has a somewhat more extreme view of things.
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Diary of a BMW driver

haha

Couldn't agree more

If you dis(like) things like BMW and 4x4 drivers, take a look at http://www.sniffpetrol.com
Denzil
Grafter
Posts: 1,733
Registered: 31-07-2007

Diary of a BMW driver

I am a 4x4 driver - albeit of a 1971 Land Rover. There is something akin to the BMW effect here in that drivers of all other vehicles assume I am at the bottom of the scale, and that they have the right, nay the duty, to overtake or pull out in front of me at all cost, regardless of how fast I am actually going. Wink
vic_newey
Grafter
Posts: 802
Thanks: 2
Registered: 30-07-2007

Diary of a BMW driver

vic_newey
Grafter
Posts: 802
Thanks: 2
Registered: 30-07-2007

Diary of a BMW driver

A yuppie opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along
and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at
the scene, the yuppy was complaining bitterly about the damage to
his precious BMW.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!", he whined.

"You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!", retorted the
officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't
even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

"Oh my gaaawd..." replied the yuppy, finally noticing the bloodied left
shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex!!!!"
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Diary of a BMW driver

LOL,

Thats abouot the truth I reckon. But for me it would be my PDA and not a rolex lol.
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Diary of a BMW driver

Quote
I am a 4x4 driver - albeit of a 1971 Land Rover. There is something akin to the BMW effect here in that drivers of all other vehicles assume I am at the bottom of the scale, and that they have the right, nay the duty, to overtake or pull out in front of me at all cost, regardless of how fast I am actually going. Wink



I agree with you mate, am a 4X4 owner too, and mine won't even hit a ton, Suzuki Jimny 2001, but mine is like yours probably, in that it gets used for its design, and it certainly isnt shiny either, well, it might be once a week, the rest of the time it does get muddy.

I could however, think of a few other makes to add to the BMW list who also seem to think that the road belongs to them, and you REALLY shouldnt be on it, especially if your car is only capable of sub-sonic speeds!
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Diary of a BMW driver

You can add Audi drivers to the list. And don't get me started on Cayenne's...Dang, that's it, another shirt ruined, I'll wake up somewhere I don't recognise with the green skin tone still fading...
Community Veteran
Posts: 1,656
Registered: 13-06-2007

Diary of a BMW driver

add me to the haters of 4x4s was walking home from college today and some women in her fancy 4x4 sped past me and through a puddle covering me in water!
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Diary of a BMW driver

and how is that a fault of a 4X4, that could have happened in a normal car really..

I have to agree in one sense, drove to london last year to take my sons furniture to him, and about 1 in 3 cars was a brand new shiny range rover, usually black in colour (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! LOL)

But out in the sticks we need them, specially with my new job, the road, and the drive to the place is a quagmire, in fact the other day i couldnt have got down the drive without it, also my voluntary work takes me to some interesting houses where normal cars just simply couldnt go, and in worst case scenario, it could cost someone their life...over dramatising a bit i know, but its possible.

Overall though, i have to agree as said, there are a lot of shiny new four wheel drives out there that dont even drive in the gutter of the road, let alone a dirt track or field..

Cannot wait tho, next month, taking mine off road properly down in Corwen, getting introduced to the green laning experience, by a proper organised group, who also look after the green lanes after they have been used!
Community Veteran
Posts: 1,656
Registered: 13-06-2007

Diary of a BMW driver

because all the other normal cars were keeping away from the pavement and thuse the puddle but the bigger wider 4x4 went straight through the puddle!
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Diary of a BMW driver

mmm, even then not always a 4X4, my previous, an avensis, was a lot wider then the jimny