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Categories of forum posters explained <g>

Community Veteran
Posts: 14,469
Registered: 30-07-2007

Categories of forum posters explained <g>

Came across this very interesting post on another message board which I thought might amuse those among use that frequent message boards regularly. It was very thought provoking and I can spot quite a few people I've seen in there as well - including me! Cheesy

I'm not after any nominations - I don't want to attract any flame throwers reading this!!!, It's just for fun:

Quote
The Natives ---> They have been on the boards for ages and know everything about everyone, sometimes even other people's favourite colour underwear. They only notice n00bs after they've been on the board for a few weeks and sometimes even months. They tend to strut a lot.

The Flame Throwers ---> These lot don't post much unless it's something they don't agree on. They love starting flamewars in a subtle way and then all of a sudden backing off with hands in the air stating "You started it". Don't get in their bad books, they will follow you around on the forums and rip all your posts to shreds. They tend to make good friends if you fall into the same category.

The Oldies ---> This bunch of easy - going twenty somethings stick out like an oasis in a desert between the hormone driven teenagers that pretty much make up the rest of the forums. They are wiser and much calmer. They tend to get nostalgic about the eighties.

Generation X'ers ---> Basically they rule the forums by majority. These members can mostly be found riding the waves of ecstacy or down in the gutters of rejected love. They cycle through the opposite sex on a weekly basis. Fun drug to the oldies, keeps them young at heart. Physical characteristics include fashion labels, gel and sometimes prone to spots. Lot's of scars on scull from bumping heads repeatedly on life's blackboard.

The n00bs ---> Two kinds have been noted. The first lot are scared of the natives, cautious and very apologetic when making mistakes. They don't last very long on the forums and normaly disappear out the backdoor after a day or two. The second bunch of n00bs are determined to make an impression. They will spam the forums in their first day with hundreds of questions written in illegible colours and cryptic languages. They are oblivious to rejection and persist in annoying the natives to such an extreme that they are accepted into the circle as another doomed forum member. These lot tend to stick around and become indisposable.

The Spammers ---> Lol, yeah we can't have a forum without these!

The Einsteins ---> Respected and feared for making you look like an idiot. Source of wisdom and knowledge. Saves other members time by not needing to read books or study for exams. Use big words that IQ - deprived members and some foreighners don't understand at all. Use a lot of quotes.

The MeMyselfAndI'ers ---> They only care about sharing their own lives and don't give a diddely about yours. They make friends with the other MeMyselfAndI'ers as they have a mutual understanding of being selfcentered. Their posts always start with "I" and "My". Also have blank expressions in their eyes when talked to, they do not comprehend other human voices. Their worlds are small, very very small.

The Jokers ---> Very very dry. Sometimes dual character with the Einsteins. Mostly misread by other members which leads them to being bitter, provoking further dry and lost humour.

The God --->There can only be one here, left void by me, what with being modest . This speciman does not make a regular appearance. He is enigmatic, dark and comes in the mist. Few people have seen what he looks like but it is said that his beauty will leave you blind and drain your soul.

The Unbreakables ---> These lot can withstand any flames thrown their way. They tend to annoy some forum members and end up being flamed for their ridiculous posts. What is interesting about this is the fact that they are completely immune to hints and even direct insults. Further study might shed some light on this phenomenon. They have a very thick skin, some have scales as well.

The Cry Babies ---> Sensitive and sometimes quite naive. They do not handle critisism well and rattle their toys around when they feel neglected. Not at all a bad species though, with a bit of nurturing and love they can grow into good friends. They are soft - spoken but sometimes whiney. They are fluffy.

Santa's Little Helpers ---> These guys and girls fill the void the natives left a long time ago. They actually reply and help the n00bies where they can. They have studied for years and some deserve to be called Professors. They take their job serioulsy and you will not easily find them in the sensless posts made by the rest of the crowd. They also "lol" a lot

The Hormonians ---> I have mostly spotted these in big groups of young males, although, some females seem to join them at stages. Have spotted a monthly pattern but will have to look further into this. They do not seek any form of emotional or friendship bond with the opposite sex but purely a mate to release sexual frustration on. Words like chickenbreast and "*beep* here" have them excited about being part of such lovely forums. Because of their small size it has been a bit hard to get hold of one. This analysis might also have an effect on them and leaves me thinking that this might be a good way to trap one as he / she will come closer for further inspection.

The Compulsive Liers ---> This bunch of lovely peeps think that the internet makes them invinsible. "Invinsible I say!" Everything they own, say or do is bigger and better than the rest of the peasants on the forums. They also tend to think that everyone is stupid enough to believe everything they say. May share characteristics with the "Unbreakables" and get involved in flamewars with the "Flame Throwers". They keep extra viles of oblivia potions in their backpacks in case they might be found out and need to act nonchalant.

The Darkies ---> Pessimistic, analytical and well, dark. This bunch don't really fit into any of the other groups, besides, they don't want to fit. Social outcasts that find comfort in the faceless world of the forums. They only come out after dark and can only be spotted by tiny pieces of metal caught in the moonlight on their black clad bodies. Thrive on deep, intense, rythmical, melodic sounds. This audio might also provoke repetitive, vigorous head movements or elegant chanting with the upperbody and arms. Beauty in Darkness, ugly as hell in the sunlight.


Enjoy! Cheesy

Cheers

Peter Cool
9 REPLIES
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Categories of forum posters explained <g>

I cover about 4 or 5 of them myself Tongue

Although, i aint quite as bad as a Native yet !!
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Categories of forum posters explained <g>

Quote
The Oldies ---> This bunch of easy - going twenty somethings stick out like an oasis in a desert between the hormone driven teenagers that pretty much make up the rest of the forums. They are wiser and much calmer. They tend to get nostalgic about the eighties.


I was pondering this and I would like to extend the concept of an oldie somewhat.

The classification works like this. I will give a list of different portable computer storage media. The more of these you have used, the older you are.

USB Data stick
250Mb zip drive
100 Mb zip drive
1.44 Mbyte 3.5" disk
720K 3.5" disk
1.2 Mbyte 5.25" floppy disk
360 K 5.25" floppy disk
8" floppy disk (any format)
Magnetic tape
80 column punched cards
Paper tape (8 holes per line)
Paper tape (5 holes per line)

You can rate yourself. As you may guess, I have used all of them.

One of my proudest memories concerns having submitted a data tape and a deck of cards to a mainframe IBM 360. It had to go up to London on the van from the laboratory where I worked, to be run on the computer. It came back the next day with a card saying "Please do not submit this again as it bombs our whole computer." On inspection there was a drop of oil on the leadin of the tape which had fooled the tape reader. I kept that card on my book cupboard door. (This would be round about 1970).

I keep a supply of old 80 column cards in my desk and use them to write messages on such as "Gone to a meeting" to put on my office door.

John Fletcher
Just turned 57.
Community Veteran
Posts: 6,983
Thanks: 8
Registered: 10-04-2007

Categories of forum posters explained <g>

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computer storage media. The more of these you have used, the older you are.


Good god I must be really ancient :?
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Categories of forum posters explained <g>

I can remember the pre-computer days when in the Statistics class at Glasgow we were given a metal hand-calculator to use. I cannot remember its proper name. Algol 60 etc only came in in my postgrad time.
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Categories of forum posters explained <g>

Quote
Quote
computer storage media. The more of these you have used, the older you are.


Good god I must be really ancient :?


The true sign of an oldie is how many Kb (note not Mb) of store he has managed on in the past.
Community Veteran
Posts: 6,983
Thanks: 8
Registered: 10-04-2007

Categories of forum posters explained <g>

Oh dear this gets worse :? My first PC had a mere 1k of memory. It did make you very efficient with programing in basic though. :lol:
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Categories of forum posters explained <g>

The sign of a good programmer was how little store he could use, rather different today me'thinks. :roll:

I remember my company employed a mathematician with a Phd simply to go over programs and find a more store efficient way to run them.

Microsoft would sink without trace if that were still valid today. :lol:
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Categories of forum posters explained <g>

It is many years since I did any overlaying.
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Categories of forum posters explained <g>

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It is many years since I did any overlaying.


Ah yes, the joys of the electronic shoe horn. There were some systems where some of the memory could hold data, but not program.

Now I am working with parallel programing, using several computers at once!

John