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A Grizzly Death


A Grizzly Death

This is the true story of two of the world's leading grizzly bear experts -- one a professor of Lomonosov Moscow State University in Moscow,
Russia, and the other a professor from the Univerzita Karlova in Prague, Czech Republic. These two men were arguably the definitive authorities
on grizzly bears in the whole world, even though none of them had actually seen a real live grizzly, these of course not being native to the
European continent.

So it came to pass that both professors got on a plane to America, and eagerly set out for a two-week camping trip in Yellowstone national park to
study the grizzlies there. At first the park rangers were reluctant about letting two civilians camp in such close proximity to the man-eating
grizzly bears, but the professors were very insistant, reassuring the rangers that the they were indeed the most knowledgeable people on the
planet where grizzly bears were concerned, and if anyone were able to carry out such an expedition, it would be them. The rangers finally agreed,
on the condition that the professors had to carry a GPS and a radio and check in with the rangers every night, to make sure they were all right.

So the professors headed out, and immediately happened upon a male and a female grizzly bear that were apparently travelling together. They spent
their whole first week tracking and observing the two bears, checking in their position every night, delivering excited reports about the
activites of the bears. After a week, the rangers were beginning to feel comfortable that the professors were able to handle the situation.

Then one night the professors didn't check in. The rangers were very worried, and set out at daybreak the next day towards the professors' last
known location.

Coming upon the clearing where the professors had set up camp, the rangers noticed two huge grizzly bears snooping around the campsite. It was
obviously the pair of bears the professors had been tracking, but the professors themselves were nowhere to be seen. Noticing the rangers, the
female bear -- female bears from nature's side endowed with more natural aggression than male bears -- rose to its two hind legs, bared its teeth,
let out a horrific roar and then charged at the rangers. But the rangers had come prepared -- they had their rifles at the ready, and soon the
bear lay dead in the middle of the clearing. The male bear, frightened by the loud gunshots, fled into the undergrowth and disappeared into the
forest. The rangers searched around the campsite, but still found no sign of the two professors.

Needing to know if the bears had attacked the professors, the rangers gutted the dead bear and opened its stomach. There they found plenty of
fresh meat and some tatters of the russian professor's clothes, but nothing that indicated that the female bear had eaten the other professor.

The first ranger looked at the second ranger with a glum look in his eyes, and said: "You know what this means, right?"

"Yeah..." replied the other ranger darkly -- "The czhek is in the male :shock: