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5 rules to keep all males happy for life

stewarta13wsb
Grafter
Posts: 449
Registered: 01-08-2007

5 rules to keep all males happy for life

FIVE RULES FOR ALL MALES, FOR A HAPPY LIFE



1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, is a good cook,

cleans and has a well paid job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh and laughs at

your jokes.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is superb in bed and who likes to be

with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other
12 REPLIES
The_10th
Grafter
Posts: 1,090
Registered: 08-04-2007

5 rules to keep all males happy for life

oh dear! :lol:
_lecro_
Grafter
Posts: 195
Registered: 30-07-2007

5 rules to keep all males happy for life

LMFAO nice one,had me going right to the last one :lol: :lol:
Community Veteran
Posts: 1,886
Registered: 05-04-2007

5 rules to keep all males happy for life

Remind me never to take a swig of my beer when reading good ones like that!!!!

:mrgreen:
N/A

5 rules to keep all males happy for life

ROFL - Very good.
chrisco
Grafter
Posts: 314
Registered: 31-07-2007

5 rules to keep all males happy for life

Felt I must post something to restore the status quo. (No guys not the band!!)

SEMINAR FOR ALL MALE STAFF


The female staff will be offering courses to all men in the company.
Please note the names of some courses have changed.
Attendance in at least 10 of the following courses is compulsory.
1. Combating stupidity
2. You Too Can Do Housework!
3. PMS - Learning When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
4. How to Fill an Ice Tray
5. We Do Not Want Sleazy underwear for Christmas - Give Us Money!
6. Understand the Female Response to Coming Home Drunk at 4:00 am
7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly called "Don't Wash My stuff")
8. Parenting - NO, It Doesn't End With Conception
9. Get A Life - Learn to Cook
10. How Not to Act Like an AH When You're Obviously Wrong
11. Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right!
12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
13. You - The Weaker Sex
14. Reasons to Give Flowers
15. How to stay Awake After Sex
16. Why It's Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere But The Bathroom
17. Rubbish - Getting it To The Curb
18. You CAN Fall Asleep Without It - If You Really Try
19. The Morning Dilemma - If "ITS" Awake, Take a Shower
20. I'll Wear It If I Damn Well Please
21. How To Put The Toilet Lid Down (formerly called "No, It's Not a Bidet")
22. The Weekend and Sports are NOT Synonymous
23. Give Me A Break - Why We Know Your Excuses Are BS
24. How To Go Shopping With Your Mate Without Getting Lost
25. The Remote Control - Overcoming Your Dependency
26. Romanticism - Other Ideas Besides Sex
27. Helpful Postural Hints for Couch Potatoes
28. Mothers-in-Law - They Are People Too
29. How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children
30. You Too Can Be a Designated Driver
31. Male Bonding - Leaving Your Friends at Home
32. Honest, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson, Especially When Naked
33. Changing Your Underwear - It Really Works!
34. Fluffing the Blanket After Farting is NOT Necessary Wink
N/A

5 rules to keep all males happy for life

Whilst very amusing, I would just have to point one small error -

Quote
17. Rubbish - Getting it To The Curb


In England, the word for the concrete blocks along the edge of a road is spelt kerb.

I already attended seminar #11 :lol:

No doubt just as I criticised your post which made an issue of spelling, somebody will find errors in my spelling/grammar/punctuation Wink

*sighs* we will make these rods for our backs. :lol:

Oh, and in case anybody didn't pick up on the humour, this is a light hearted dig.
chrisco
Grafter
Posts: 314
Registered: 31-07-2007

5 rules to keep all males happy for life

Thanks for that James, see point 11! Tongue
N/A

5 rules to keep all males happy for life

Quote

I already attended seminar #11 :lol:


Tongue (back atcha)
chrisco
Grafter
Posts: 314
Registered: 31-07-2007

5 rules to keep all males happy for life

Touche! See 1 Shockedops:
N/A

5 rules to keep all males happy for life

LOL - I guess I defo need to attend no 29 (although I don't have children, I'm sure the sentiment applies!)
Wink
The_10th
Grafter
Posts: 1,090
Registered: 08-04-2007

5 rules to keep all males happy for life

That doesn't restore the status quo; 34 points to 5! :lol:

Perhaps point 35 should be to ignore all the previous 34 points? Wink
chrisco
Grafter
Posts: 314
Registered: 31-07-2007

5 rules to keep all males happy for life

Oh well that's us women for you we have to go in for the kill!! Wink Feel free to post another 29 points - that's if you can find that many! Cheesy Just joking, here's another sent to me by an engineer friend which will probably even up things a little for all the males out there.

HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATlON BULLETIN
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET

WOMEN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSlS

ELEMENT : Woman
SYMBOL : Wo
DISCOVERER : Adam
ATOMIC MASS : Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40 - 200kg
OCCURRENCES : Copious quantities in urban areas


PHYSICAL PROPERTIES :

1. Surface usually covered with painted film.
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied to correct places.

CHEMlCAL PROPERTIES :

1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES :

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.

TESTS :

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in its natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS :

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained
at different locations as long as specimens do not come into contact
with each other.